Dealing with Failure in Your Life (and the Feelings That Come With It)

 

Let’s be real. Life doesn’t always go as planned. 

We have dreams, goals, and expectations, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, things fall apart. Maybe it’s a job opportunity that slipped through your fingers, a relationship that ended, or a business idea that didn’t take off the way you hoped. The sting of failure is real. But failure is not final, and it definitely does not define who you are.

People deal with the feelings of failure in many different ways. Some push those feelings down and try to move on as if nothing happened. Others sit with them and feel completely overwhelmed. The truth is that life can feel heavy, and in those moments, failure can feel like a personal attack on your worth. Yet here’s what you need to remember: failure doesn't define who you are, and it doesn't have the power to cancel God’s purpose for your life.

Start by Identifying What You're Really Feeling

Take a moment and be honest with yourself. Are you feeling like a failure? Are you also battling discouragement or even depression? These emotions often stem from disappointment, unmet expectations, or comparison. No matter how you feel, it's important to anchor yourself in truth. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV). God sees your heart and your pain, and He is not distant. In fact, He draws near when we are hurting. If you accept this truth, you can dwell in peace in the middle of failures and hard situations.

Talk It Out and Don’t Carry It Alone

One of the worst things we can do when we feel like we have failed is to isolate ourselves. We were created to exist in community. You don't have to carry the weight of failures, struggles, and setbacks alone. Talk to someone you trust. This might be a kingdom friend, a mentor, a pastor, a coach, or a counselor. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14, ESV). Talking through your feelings not only helps relieve pressure but also brings clarity and encouragement to keep going.

Refuse to Let Emotions Drive Destructive Decisions

When emotions run high, it becomes easy to act out of frustration, regret, or fear. Stop. Take a step back. Be still. Breathe. Let your mind and spirit settle before making decisions. It's never a good idea to make a permanent decision in the middle of temporary situations. Galatians 5:22-23 references the fruit of the Spirit, including self-control and peace. When you lean into the Holy Spirit, He will guide your thoughts and actions rationally and in peace. This allows your next move to be rooted in wisdom and understanding rather than emotion.

Know That This Will Pass

Whatever you are facing right now will not last forever. This moment of feeling stuck, disappointed, or unsure will pass. It will not always feel this way. I love that the Word of God speaks to every area of life. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV). Seasons change naturally and figuratively. This season, no matter how long it's been, will too. God is still writing your story, and this current chapter is not the end.

Start With Baby Steps and Small Wins

Failure can bring you low, but bold confidence will snatch your life back. Confidence in God and in who He has created you to be is vital. So, begin by taking small, intentional steps to rebuild your confidence. What are you good at doing? What brings you joy? What are you passionate about? What can you thank God for today? Gratitude is a powerful weapon against the lies that failure tries to whisper to keep you bound. Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite verses and keeps me anchored in my thoughts. This verse tells us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Let your thoughts dwell on these things and allow them to shift your perspective.

Affirm Who You Are in Christ

I Am has called you, and He's created you in His image and likeness. You aren't defined by life's circumstances of what worked or what didn’t. Your identity is in Christ alone, who He says you are, and what He says you can do and be. You are chosen, loved, redeemed, blessed, prosperous, valuable, victorious, and so much more. Romans 8:37 declares, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” This means that even when you face failure, you still carry the victory because of who you belong to. You can make it through anything, as long as you remain steadfast in Christ. 

Action Steps to Rise After a Fall

• Pray honestly. Speak openly to God about what hurts and where you need healing.

• Journal your thoughts. Writing helps bring clarity to what you’re feeling and why.

• Confide in a trusted friend, coach, pastor, or mentor. Let someone walk alongside you.

• Create a small goal for the week. Start with one doable step and move forward.

• Revisit your vision. Remember what you were working toward and ask God for fresh direction.

• Speak the Word of God over your life daily. Remind yourself of the truth of God’s Word.

• Give yourself grace. God gives grace freely, and you should too.

Declare Truth
I am not defined by my failures. I am guided by God, strengthened through His Spirit, and destined to walk in purpose. My mistakes do not cancel my purpose and calling.

Success is not about avoiding every fall. It is about rising again with greater wisdom and stronger faith. Through Christ, you have the power to overcome. Don't give up. Don't stay stuck. Failure may knock on your door, but it doesn't get to come in or dwell unless you allow it. Let God use every stumble to develop you, mature you, and lead you into the life He designed for you.

You're not done. You're just getting started. Your time is NOW! Go get it!

It's time to BOSS up and take your power back as you journey to empowerment and success by walking in your God-designed purpose. I hope this blog post has inspired you to take action and begin to live your dreams out loud! Remember to spread the word and share this blog. Together, let's build a community of powerful, unstoppable women. So hit that like and share button, and let's start a revolution of women who Boldly Overcome Struggles and Setbacks, as we positively transform ourselves Body, Occupation, Soul, and Spirit.

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Be Encouraged!

Dr. Breanna BOSS James

Psl. 37

Break Free and Discover the Real You and Achieve Your Desired Success! www.BreakingFreeBoldly.com

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